University of Kentucky basketball coach John Calipari is coming under public scrutiny because of NCAA sanctions against the University of Memphis basketball team for violations that occurred while he was coach, making it the second time a team he has coached that has been sanctioned in such a way.
Calipari himself has not been implicated in the investigations, but if the blame does end up falling on him, he may be forced to go out to a local restaurant, pick up a floozy, and pay for her abortion in order to return himself to the good graces of university officials.
Let's hope it doesn't come to that.
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