Monday, December 21, 2015

The Solution to College Student Protests

In a time when college students are lucky if the food at the dining commons is edible, students  at Oberlin College are protesting because cafeteria food is not "culturally accurate." This is just the most recent demand by the student PC Police on college campuses, who apparently don't have any real problems to deal with.

A number of critics have described today's college protesters as "infantile," a diagnosis with which I wholeheartedly agree. And I have just the prescription.

When college officials encounter this kind of protest on their campuses, they need to start handing out pacifiers. That's what they're for: To silence the whining.

Campus officials could also designate a morning story time (I suggest Where the Wild Things Are and The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day), and provide mattresses (cheap, uncomfortable ones) for afternoon naps. They could also put those useless diversity bureaucrats to work providing a free diaper service. I suggest having them issue cloth diapers and requiring officials to wash them by hand.

If that doesn't quiet them down, and the equally Politically Correct officials don't have the fortitude to use a hickory switch, then I suggest sending them all to their rooms without dinner.

Or, if there are students from certain places in Southeast Asia, they could go ahead and make the cuisine more authentic by serving other students.

1 comment:

Art said...

And, in the other corner, we have the cretins who babble on brainlessly about the "War on Christmas".